amitkilhor

And sorry. There's no hope. No optimism. You are in true hell.
Make anything you want of it.
Some of you will survive. Rest all of us are going to perish powerless..

I was part of UPSC protests.
For UP mei hue.. and ab BPSC.

Being a teacher it's my moral responsibility to tell you the truth.
Sadly, i would like to informm..
That nothing will change.
The future is dark.
And the system is corrupt, deaf, broken and rotten.
This is no country for an honest student.
You are in for hell.

My hopelessness and cynicism is negative, but Truth.
The world ain't fair. This country is patently unfair and unjust to students.

Is video pe comments kr do yaar jaake.. first video nhi chalta hai toh series cancel ho jaati hai.

Lets do this once again

Also i forgot to tell you...
Shashank shekhar paid and sponsored my 6th attempt.
He use to earn 25000/- and use to give me 12000/- for my expenses in ORN.

He had to run his home.. still.

Imagine a frnd gvng half salary to you. He did it for 10 months.

Had to tell this. Was necessary.
And Then i hurt him.
Not exactly hurt... It was like. When a dog is scared and beaten.. he bites the caretaker or savior also.. ( that kind of situation)

Ok. Goodnight. Now.

Last story of the day..

In this in am the villain.
My best friend is shashank shekhar.
He is my shiva.
You would be luckiest person on Earth if you ever get a friend who could be your shiva. I was.
He drank all the poison of my.
The only sanity i have left has been of due to shashank. The true Shiva of life.

I hurt him. He took all the hate and poison of me.
Still .....

Don't want to tell his story
I Haven't spoken to him since 4 years.
It hurts me everyday.

One day.. i think i will speak to him.. but i don't know if my friend has been lost forever.. ..
May i have lost whatever i had.
Never to find it again.
Sometimes we don't deserve good things.
In this case.. i don't deserve him.


Aaj ke liye itna hi.

One more.

Had a friend. His name was Sushant. Usne jo bezzati ki woh detail mei type nhi hogi.
But ghar se bahar nikla bezzati karwa ke.
Actually unemployed low self esteem ko koi kuch bhi bol sakta hai.

The person never called back either.
So i guess we are done here.

Ek aur kahani batata hu.

I had a best friend kat(nickname). I loved him. I also thought he loved me. We use to prepare for UPSC together.

However he had a job in election commission.
And i was unemployed, losing at life, low in self esteem. so he kind of probably just beared with me.

One day in his rant.. he told me..
Ki amit merrle saare dost tumko ch***a samjhte hai.. and tere saare dost bhi tujhe ch**ia samjhte hai. U r a nobody.

Since that .. i have not spoken with him.

This incident hurts me most and yet till date.
It was a 10 year frndship.

But i being and unemployed and failure... Was also trampled upon by my best friend.

He also apologized but i haven't replied to his msg in last three years.

He shouldn't have said this.
I still love him but i aint gonna talk to him.
He wasn't my friend never i guess, i was a mere accessory to his life i guess.

Ek kahani batata hu.

I had a best friend. - his name was popo(nickname). Vaise puneet.

I was unemployed and he got a good job at vision IAS.
I went to his birthday. He had invited his friends.
It was a sudama- krishna kind of situation. Me being the sudama.

Mei toh masti kar rha rha birthday pe... But he felt embarrassed. Coz u know his cool and sophisticated friends and all you know.

So after that birthday party in November.. he cut me off.

Coz i was not of his class.

It still hurts me to know.. that i how i was acting on that day and what he must be feeling on that night. I wasn't worthy of being in that space.

Later on he cut me off and stopped talking to me.
It happens with unemployed losers.
Moral : make sure that u figure out the life.. else no one likes you even your best friend.

P.s popo did apologize later.. when i became a teacher on SIQ.. but.. sadly it hurts me.
Funny thing is i didn't even know ki i have been cut off
I toh came to know.. after two years .. when in covid i one day went impulsively to his home... And he didn't even allowed me to enter his flat..
He said its covid times and his parents are there. So he doesn't want to risk it.


Later on, on phone he told me that he has been pissed since birthday.. when i embarrassed him in front of his cool rich friends.

I still love him, but i don't call him.

Also please keep me loving, i am a very attention seeker.
Can't live without your adoration.
And wherever u meet me and we will obvio meet somewhere someday, on some road, just hug me.

Arey because you gave me meaning when i had none.

Hey guys, thanks to you all for saving me.

As laxmikanth is off the Channel, hence we'll have to start a new polity series. Dont have a choice, much ehn!