Most people view "relapse" in either of the following two ways -
i. Relapse is normal. It's a part of the journey.
ii. I've relapsed because I am incapable of quitting this addiction. I'll never be able to quit.
Both of the above approaches are equally wrong.
A lot of people believe that relapses are normal and a part of the journey. This is a false belief. This false belief never lets you quit. It's a part of brainwashing, i.e. the Big Monster.
The second approach convinces you that you are a loser. This is also the Big Monster.
Both these approaches help your addiction by inducing a wrong mindset in you. Either way, it's the Big Monster (brainwashing) making you feed the Little Monster (the dopamine addiction).
Relapse is not a good word. It should be called slipping. And it shouldn't be noramlized either. You slip because you have not been able to remove your brainwashing quickly. Don't normalize it because it's not okay or normal. Don't think you can't quit. Because you can quit. Everyone can quit. You should work on removing your wrong beliefs. Once you eliminate the Big Monster (brainwashing), your addiction will die forever.
EasyPeasy says -
Firstly, calling it a relapse is counterproductive. All that’s happened is that you’ve slipped and fed the little monster, which in turn starts up the big brainwashing monster.
Factors that culminate to each users brainwashing are seemingly infinite. You know yourself better than anyone else, it’s obviously a failure to follow instructions. You saw value in pornography, but how?
What’s often overlooked is that it takes time to reverse the brainwashing. This doesn’t make it any harder, but nearly every industry uses sex, and actively countering brainwashing is a conscious process (at least to begin with), so it might take time to fully solidify the lessons contained within. Hence, multiple readings are recommended (you can skip to chapters you’re having difficulty with) and shouldn’t take you long.
A surprisingly common experience for religious users leaving the trap is wanting it to hurt a little bit, as a form of atonement. They find quitting so easy, then feel guilty for feeling this way. But why self sabotage and make it hard? The little monster is very sneaky in this regard.
Disassociate yourself from the little monster, it was added by the porn industry long ago. Imagine a bully having a tantrum on the school playground. What do you say to a bully? If you give in, you’ll just reinforce them. Some who quit end up feeding the bully, and so increase their brainwashing, but their conceptualisation of the trap hasn’t changed. Pick yourself up, figure out where you went wrong, and enjoy freedom!
You’re not your urge. Mindfulness meditation is the practice of noticing thought, and there are fundamental lessons in the nature of the mind to be found. It’s highly recommended that you meditate in general, and it’s also completely compatible with religious practice. You can’t fight with yourself, or the little monster. You’ve got to unconditionally love yourself and the process.
i. Relapse is normal. It's a part of the journey.
ii. I've relapsed because I am incapable of quitting this addiction. I'll never be able to quit.
Both of the above approaches are equally wrong.
A lot of people believe that relapses are normal and a part of the journey. This is a false belief. This false belief never lets you quit. It's a part of brainwashing, i.e. the Big Monster.
The second approach convinces you that you are a loser. This is also the Big Monster.
Both these approaches help your addiction by inducing a wrong mindset in you. Either way, it's the Big Monster (brainwashing) making you feed the Little Monster (the dopamine addiction).
Relapse is not a good word. It should be called slipping. And it shouldn't be noramlized either. You slip because you have not been able to remove your brainwashing quickly. Don't normalize it because it's not okay or normal. Don't think you can't quit. Because you can quit. Everyone can quit. You should work on removing your wrong beliefs. Once you eliminate the Big Monster (brainwashing), your addiction will die forever.
EasyPeasy says -
Firstly, calling it a relapse is counterproductive. All that’s happened is that you’ve slipped and fed the little monster, which in turn starts up the big brainwashing monster.
Factors that culminate to each users brainwashing are seemingly infinite. You know yourself better than anyone else, it’s obviously a failure to follow instructions. You saw value in pornography, but how?
What’s often overlooked is that it takes time to reverse the brainwashing. This doesn’t make it any harder, but nearly every industry uses sex, and actively countering brainwashing is a conscious process (at least to begin with), so it might take time to fully solidify the lessons contained within. Hence, multiple readings are recommended (you can skip to chapters you’re having difficulty with) and shouldn’t take you long.
A surprisingly common experience for religious users leaving the trap is wanting it to hurt a little bit, as a form of atonement. They find quitting so easy, then feel guilty for feeling this way. But why self sabotage and make it hard? The little monster is very sneaky in this regard.
Disassociate yourself from the little monster, it was added by the porn industry long ago. Imagine a bully having a tantrum on the school playground. What do you say to a bully? If you give in, you’ll just reinforce them. Some who quit end up feeding the bully, and so increase their brainwashing, but their conceptualisation of the trap hasn’t changed. Pick yourself up, figure out where you went wrong, and enjoy freedom!
You’re not your urge. Mindfulness meditation is the practice of noticing thought, and there are fundamental lessons in the nature of the mind to be found. It’s highly recommended that you meditate in general, and it’s also completely compatible with religious practice. You can’t fight with yourself, or the little monster. You’ve got to unconditionally love yourself and the process.